https://mikaelaswords.home.blog/2018/08/26/the-landscape-i-love-best/

Hey Mikaela,

I was most impacted by your blog post where you describe a landscape that you fondly remember. After reading other classmates’ blogs briefly, I had not felt drawn to review their works like I had your own. The first line, “I had been travelling aimlessly for weeks…” I deeply connected with, as last year I travelled for 4 months solo. I resonate with the fear yet excitement of discovering new worlds outside Australia. You  then continue to say, “Travel was supposed to be fun… I was supposed to be happy,” I felt your honesty and could relate to the initial idealised thoughts about travelling; when in reality, travelling was dirty, tough and not as fulfilling as I believed it would be. I think you have beautifully captured the two sides of travelling through personal experiences evidently brought out in the blog. The reader can clearly see you are torn between wanting to stay longer to rest and to continue exploring the other parts of Europe, despite feeling lost.

I believe you could improve this work through more refined editing. This may include better sentence structure and rearranging words to give your blog a more sentimental tone. For example, “The day I walked the cliffs saw drastic weather changes. From cold winds that caused me to huddle into my coat to heavy rain, the kind with thick droplets that soaked me in minutes, and eventually sunshine fighting through, drying my hair.”

This could be changed too, “I walked to the edge of the cliffs and felt the drastic weather changes. The cold winds caused me to huddle into my coat suddenly turned to heavy rain, the kind of thick droplets that had me soaked in minutes. I then noticed how the sunshine fought through the clearing clouds and dried my hair.”

I was also impressed by the layout of  your blog and effective use of images, good job Mikaela!

(Edited on 11/09/2018 in relation to comment)